Many adults in the
United States are faced with task of caring for one of their elderly parents, and/or
a minor child, and/or a grown child. Nearly half (47%) of adults between 40 and
59 are likely to have an elderly parent and either a minor or grown child (Kim,
Parker and Patten Eileen, 2013). The Sandwich Generation is characterized
largely by the number of parents that have an elderly parent and a child. These
parents are sandwiched between two generations. Having both a child and elderly
parent may appear to be a significant stressor to the sandwiched generation as
they may provide some sort of assistance to either elderly parent, child, or
both while also caring for themselves. However, 31% of the sandwich generation
reports feeling very happy and 31% report feeling always rushed compared to 28%
and 23% of other adults respectively (Kim, Parker and Patten Eileen 2013). Why
some adults provide some sort of support to their grown children is in part
explained by the boomerang kid phenomenon: kids who move out from their parents’
house at one time and return home after failing to manage on their own. California
has seen nearly 31% of all children aged 18 upwards living in their parents’
place (Hannah, Dreier and Burgarino Paul 2011). My interviewee did not have a
boomerang child at the time I interviewed her, but she has two college kids.
She also has her mother staying with her. This qualified my interviewee to be a
part of the Sandwich Generation with the potential of having one or two
boomerang kids. My interviewee’s responses to questions I had asked generally reflect
the broader social and cultural norms in 21st century America.
Boomerang
kids are now a reality for a lot of parents and my interviewee acknowledged the
possibility of having one of kids coming back to live with her, “cause you hear
about boomerang children.” Ideally, she would prefer her children to be successful
in moving out, but she would not deny them the ability to return home if they
are not successful. She points out that there are many factors that may make
her or anyone’s child have to return home with “the way that, you know, the
workforce is today…It’s not that easy any more to make it on your own.” “The
job market is just so tight” and this may be reason alone for many young adults
to return home (Hannah, Dreier and Burgarino Paul 2011). Financial situations
are not the only reasons for young adults staying or returning home to their
parents. There are cultural or household situations that may influence young
adults to stay with their parents. Nonetheless, 63% of parents provide some
financial support to their adult child with 52% of adults believing that
parents have a responsibility to provide financial assistance to an adult child
who needs it (Kim, Parker and Patteen Eileen 2013). Some parents are cautioned
to implement an exist strategy for their adult children that return home (Hannah,
Dreier and Burgarino Paul 2011). An exit strategy includes an estimated time
allowed for that child to remain back home. My interviewee noted “that you do
have to set ground rules” if they do return home. She did not explicitly state
that an exit strategy should be in place but that the returned stay be on a “temporary
basis” and until “they get back on their feet” if her children do return home. The
changes in the workforce and growing precarity of work likely has some
correlation with the rising trend of boomerang kids. This is noted by my
interviewee as well. Most, if not all, of her reasons as to why her adult
children may return home revolved around the economy, job market, and income. Despite
acknowledging the possibility of having a boomerang kid and being willing to financial
support her grown child, her outlook on work and savings remain unchanged. The Sandwich Generation has not only adult
children to worry about. They also have or care some sort of assistance to
their own elderly parent.
The
majority (75%) of adults believe that an adult child has the responsibility to
provide financial assistance to elderly parents when needed and 63% of adults
do say they are providing some financial support to their elderly parents; 68%
of adults have their elderly parents turn to them for emotional support (Kim,
Parker and Patten Eileen 2013). My interviewee is one with the majority and
believes that one should care for their elderly parent if needed; but she would
prefer not to have to be cared for by her children if she can help it. With 75%
of adults believing that it is a responsibility to provide financial assistance
to their elderly parent, but only 63% saying they do provide financial
assistance, there is the chance that the elderly parent does not need financial
assistance. This was noted by my interviewee. She also notes that caring for an
elderly parent involves helping them from “point A to B.” Thus, physical
assistance may be required of an adult caring for their elderly parent. With
care and emotional attachment comes stress. When asked whether caring for an
elderly parent is a stressor, benefit, or both, my interviewee answered with
both. If the elderly parent in the adult’s care suffers from a disease like my
interviewee says, the more the disease impacts the elderly parent, the more of
a stressor caring for them is. On the bright side, she notes, is that knowing
where and how the elderly parent is, is a benefit.
Further,
it should be noted that the economy as an institution has played a significant
role in determining my interviewee’s responses. She felt—and rightly so—that
her adult children are subject to the workforce regarding whether they will be
able to survive without her financial assistance. As her economic situation
stands, she feels she will be able to provide them the ability to return home
if needed. Though she has no plans to allow their return home to impact her
outlook on work and savings. The boomerang kid phenomenon is a recent change to
the face of the family in 21st century America. Though not examined
in this essay, there is a growing diversity in familial arrangements. Here, with
the boomerang kids, we can see how the family is able to include grown children
in the household when two or so generations ago, it was less common for grown
children to return or stay home with their parents. This may in part coincide
with the coining of the term “emerging adulthood.” Those emerging into adulthood
are aged 18-25. In this phase of life, they have greater independence, but are
not totally independent yet. Perhaps we will see emerging adulthood encompass a
wider age-range if boomerang kids continue as a national trend.
Resources
Kim, Parker and Patten Eileen. 2013. “The Sandwich
Generation.” 09/29/2019 (https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/01/30/the-sandwich-generation/).
Hannah, Dreier and Burgarino Paul. 2011. “Lean
Times Force Many Bay Area “Boomerang Kids” To Return Home As Adults.” Pp. 402-404
in Families as They Really Are, edited by B.J. Risman and V.E. Rutter. New
York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company.
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